How to Be Assertive
Whether in parenting, a relationship, or in business, assertive communication enhances your effectiveness, confidence, and personal and professional success. Assertive communication builds self-esteem, enhances honesty and intimacy in relationships, creates collaborative win-win situations, and reduces anxiety and depression. Conflict is a big source of stress. Being assertive and setting boundaries and limits actually reduce stress, while benefiting your career, relationships, and sense of well-being.
In this webinar you’ll learn how to improve overall communication, handle complaints, de-escalate conflict, and stand up to aggression. Here are a few of the many things you’ll learn:
- How to recognize your style, whether passive, aggressive, or assertive.
- New techniques to become assertive and improve non-verbal communication.
- Handy tips to avoid pitfalls when speaking assertively and setting boundaries.
- How to distinguish reactions from responses.
- Guidelines for how to respond rather than react.
- The formula to turn conflict into compromise
- What are your specific rights and boundaries.
- Strategies for setting limits.
- Tips and Do’s and Don’ts of setting boundaries and saying, “No.”
- Pointers for setting limits in the workplace and how to manage complaints and aggression.
- The 3-Strike rule in setting boundaries.
- Rules for setting limits and asking for what you want in personal relationships.
- Role play exercises for being assertive, setting limits, and managing complaints and abuse.
Thank you so much for the information you share on narcissist. I have been with one for 19 years. I am having such a hard time leaving.
Thank you again for helping me get educated on this topic.
Don Brasco –
This is solid advice.
Annie Lindstrom –
Thank you, Darlene
Shelly Slocum –
This video has helped me so much! It has been so foundational in regards to assertiveness. I’m such a big fan of Darlene’s work and how she logically breaks complex topics down.
This webinar was impactful and life changingly helpful in big and small ways for me. I watched the first time on my own, and then a few weeks later I watched it again with my family. “Assertive” was not a language that was spoken in my home while growing up. As an adult, I would find myself being aggressive and shouting in desperation, and then feeling badly for communicating in a way that felt unkind and ineffective. Darlene’s webinar changed this for me- I realized that I had not been clear in expressing my wants and needs, hoping that my family and others would just “catch on or tune in” to what I wanted (classic codependency), and when they didn’t, I was hurt and enormously resentful. Instead I learned how to validate what I hear from others while at the same time stating my needs/wants with “I” statements. Being assertive doesn’t mean I always get my way, but it does mean that I can now validate myself by speaking up. So when someone hurts my feelings or is intentionally unkind, now I can acknowledge that by saying “Ow, that hurts” and even if there is no apology or behavior change on their part, I have let the other person know my boundaries. And the biggest gain (HUGE!) is that by speaking up, setting limits, and learning to find compromises, my self esteem has improved tenfold. Basically I learned to honor myself by asserting my rights, not taking on problems which are not my own, and asking nicely (but directly) for what I want. I discovered that my wants and needs are important and deserving. Assertiveness training was my starting point to a much improved relationship with my kids and spouse. Darlene taught me I can have a gentle voice and firm resolve to drive positive interactions. Best “therapy” available!