Many of us have never experienced the contentment of self-love. Our task is to honor, accept, forgive, and love ourselves. More In codependency, thinking and behavior revolve around another person, substance, or process. Bit by bit, we lose ourselves, become dependent— even addicted. Yet we can’t stop, despite the pain. More Recovery is a transformational journey of self-actualization toward autonomy and integration. We reconnect to our real Self that’s hidden beneath learned, false ideas. More We begin by detaching from others in order to focus on ourselves.
For some people, this might include abstinence or sobriety. More
We build self-esteem and gain self-respect, self-trust and an ability to meet our needs. With self-acceptance, we don’t blame ourselves or take things personally. More We learn to express our thoughts, feelings, and needs. We find the courage to set boundaries, to say “no” and “stop.” Allowing bad behavior invites more of it. More We’re not defined by happened to us, but we have wounds and buried shame. To fully recover, we heal our past to free ourselves of its legacy and codependency. More When we're aligned with our real Self, we’re able to live authentically and pursue
unique goals and passions
that express our true nature.
More

Darlene Lancer

True happiness emanates from self-esteem, which is the cornerstone of successful relationships, work, and life. Self-esteem reflects how you treat and talk to yourself.

Darelen Lancer, JD, LMFT - What Is Codependency

Darlene Lancer JD LMFT

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

I bring a wide range of professional and life experience to my practice as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and relationship and codependency expert. I wrote Codependency for Dummies and Conquering Shame and Codependency: 8 Steps to Freeing the True You. Over the course of 30 years, I’ve helped men and women recover from codependency and trauma. More

Paperbacks, digital, and audio versions available at booksellers

“Recommended over Codependent No More.”
“Best book I ever read.” “A fantastic guide.”
“A huge blessing!” “Absolute Godsend.”
“The ultimate book on codependency!”
“A lifesaver.”   “Absolutely brilliant.”
“Like having a personal counselor.”
“Comprehensive.” “A serious book.”
“The exercises really do work.”
“Instrumental to my recovery.”
“Profoundly life-changing.”

“Empathetic and practical strategies.” “Enlightening.”
“A must-have manual to make you narcissist proof.”
“Offers hope and healing.” “A game-changer.”
“A Godsend.” “Regain your sense of self.”
“Enlightened perspective.” “Liberating.”
“The Bible of Uncovering Narcissism.”
“Her techniques are revolutionary.”
“Very insightful. With solutions”
“I LOVE IT!!” “Cracked the code.”
“Nothing short of genius.”

“Turned my life around!” “A phenomenal author.”
“One of the most personal and powerful books I
have ever read!” “Transformative.” “Brilliant.”
“I am impressed and profoundly changed.”
“Best codependency book out there.”
“Helped conquer the root of all my
life’s problems.” “Unparalleled.”
“Life-changing, liberating.”
“A heart soothing beacon.”
“A genuine eye-opener.”

“Expands your mind…your heart and spirit.”
“Deep introspection.” “Beautiful imagery.”
“Path to self-discovery and resilience.”
“Highly recommend it” “Fresh insights.”
“A great deal of wisdom.”
“Love this.” “So good.”

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E-workbooks are available here and at online booksellers,
including Smashwords.com for Apple and Kobo.

Slide "Step by step to improve your self-esteem.”
“Be prepared for positive changes!!”
“Sheer brilliance.” "Effective."
“Positive results in my life.”
More
spiritual transformation "Love everything about this book."
“The best recovery guidebook.”
“An absolute must-have.”
“An incredible companion
to my 12-step work.”
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"Fantastic book." "A godsend."
“A practical guide for all
struggling with perfectionism
and wanting to change.”
More
“Very encouraging daily reflections”
"People who are not codependents would probably find it helpful as well."
More
Slide “Wonderful book.” “Very helpful.”
“Made a difference in my life.”
"A path towards healing."
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“Clear, concise steps.” "Many epiphanies."
“So empowering. Wonderful results.”
“Very insightful.” “Extremely helpful.”
"Thought-provoking...invvaluable tips
and insight for low self-worth issues."
"Awesome...excellent information."
More
“Complete road to healing...a map to happiness.”
“Fantastic.” "Life-changing and empowering."
“Awesome.” “Excellent.” “Great insight.”
“Absolutely essential.” Enlightening.”
“Wise counsel.” “This book is gold.”
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narcissist, narcissistic "Perfectly worded, precise, and correct."
"Great read." Take Back Your Power.
Rescue Packet for improving
or leaving a relationship
with a narcissist.
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The Narcissist Quit Kit

This Kit includes 3 essential e-workbooks, an audio, plus 4 bonus files to deepen your understanding of a narcissist’s personality, motivations, and defenses. You’ll learn to effectively confront abuse and manipulation and improve your self-esteem, communication, and self-love. You will take back your power, enhance your well-being, and prepare you to leave if you choose.

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My Blogs

Each month I post a new blog about codependency, recovery, narcissism, or relationships. Search for topics using the search bar in the menu or see a List of Titles.
To receive each new monthly article, subscribe to my mailing list, or for the blog only, sign up in the footer. Do share posts with your friends and in social media.
Contact me for permission to copy (other than for personal use), distribute, or publish any article.

Steps of Codependency Recovery

The overall goal of codependency recovery is to become a full-functioning individual. That entails knowing, valuing, and trusting yourself, and expressing yourself in your life…

Healing Psychic Wounds of Codependency

Codependency is a response to trauma wounds to our young psyche in childhood. It damages our relationship with ourselves and other people. Relationships activate those very wounds, but recovery is possible.

madonna, narcissist woman

Why Narcissists Act the Way They Do

You can enjoy narcissistic symptoms when a narcissist is charming, charismatic, seductive, exciting, and engaging. But they can also act entitled, exploitative, arrogant, aggressive, cold,…

Do’s and Don’ts in Confronting Abuse

Abuse is about having power over someone. Abusers typically want to feel superior and to control and dominate. To them, communication is not about understanding.…

What Is Codependency? – A wealth of information on Codependency Symptoms and Codependency Recovery provided by Darlene Lancer, author of Codependency for Dummies

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