For information about client comments, see Website Polices.
“I learned to love and accept myself as I am. I learned the root of some of my dysfunctional patterns and why I am who I am and why I feel a certain way.”
Steve, Los Angeles
“Darlene provided me with the wisdom, support, and guidance I needed for my personal growth and development, and to improve the relationships with my loved ones, including increased intimacy and workplace achievements. I learned how to acknowledge my feelings; how to detach from other people’s problems and negative feelings; assertive communication by being authentic and responding, not reacting; how to set boundaries; trust my feelings/perceptions; do things out of a desire to do them, not out of fear, obligation, or guilt; and increase in self-confidence. Working with her has changed my life, and I can’t thank her enough.”
“I feel very fortunate to have worked with Darlene! Having many, many issues to work through, Darlene’s caring and patient nature was absolutely what I needed to help me on my own journey of self-discovery and self-actualization. Clear and straight forward, Darlene has helped me discover the issues that were holding me back and challenge me to find ways to overcome them. I cannot imagine being the person that I am today, if I had never had the strength and resolve to call Darlene and begin therapy.”
A.M., Santa Monica, CA
“Darlene Lancer is a wonderful therapist, who is gifted at pinpointing specific self-created obstacles that prevent you from interacting with others in a healthy way. She has a wealth of resources which are invaluable to those, like myself, who have a difficult time with facing conflict. My therapy experience was excellent, she gave me some guidelines…and some specific tools to set boundaries with others.”
M.G., Culver City, CA
Darlene is a terrific therapist. She is smart, compassionate and direct – all traits required for really meaningful and useful therapy. She will challenge you – and help you to understand and integrate your uncomfortable, conflicted emotions. Darlene taught me how to breakthrough pain and cultivate healing and recovery. Most helpful was her assisting me in letting go of anger and frustration. I would recommend her to anyone looking for some help.
ASM/New York City
“Darlene is an excellent therapist, she is a true expert and helped me to join the dots with my childhood experiences and how my life has been shaped by this. She is caring and heart-centered and helped me feel into my core issues with space and compassion. I highly recommend Darlene and would choose no one else for shame + guilt and codependency.”
“I feel a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I wasn’t looking at my problem (blaming myself) in a logical way, but through past conditioning and negative emotions. I slept through the night after my first session-the first time in weeks.”
Debbie B., San Luis Obispo County
“I am grateful to Darlene Lancer for getting through my shame to the real source of my pain. She showed me how to heal myself instead of wanting that from an outside source that could never meet that need.”
Michelle, Orange County
“I strongly recommend therapy with Darlene to anyone committed to the demanding process of healing from abuse, who has the strength to look inside for the answers. Darlene is a most remarkable coach. Thank you for teaching me how to perceive my inner voice as part of who I am, and not some illness borne extension, which means that I can now trust that I can self direct…that I can steer my own boat. You, unlike any other therapist I have enjoyed working with, forced me to understand that I can walk on my own. What I have today that I’d lost is confidence in myself. It was always there. It just wasn’t working.”
C.G., Syracuse, NY
“My therapy experience was one of the best things I have ever done for myself. I did not like being a doormat to others, but that’s all I knew. I did not like not being able to set boundaries and stand-up for myself, but I didn’t have the confidence to do that, and I didn’t know how to get it. I did not like feeling empty and/or lonely, but I had always been that way. Darlene’s insight and complete understanding of this helped me get to the root of the problem, toxic shame, and how to extricate it and replace it with authentic love towards myself. I developed a new-found sense of independence and confidence. I began to approach life with boldness, to freely express my feelings without judgment. Because of this, all the things I wanted but did not know how to get, started to be apparent in my life as a natural consequence of being authentic and loving myself. Thank you, Darlene, for helping me get this new beginning in life.”
Barry P., Los Angeles
“When I began working with Darlene, I was at a place in my life that felt rock-bottom. Though nothing specifically life-changing or tragic had happened to send me to therapy, I found myself in a cycle of repetition. I was making the same mistakes and couldn’t seem to get out of the hole I felt stuck in. I was hopeless in a way because I felt I couldn’t change and was destined to be unhappy with myself. I had no self-confidence and felt unsure of myself in every way.”
“Darlene taught me how to examine parts of myself I was afraid to with kindness and empathy. She helped me to gain a better understanding of myself with time. From her varied techniques, I learned to think in less of a black-and-white manner. Really, every part of me changed. My anxiety subsided to a degree. I challenged myself more. I gained a perspective and sense of self I actually like. I feel so grateful to have worked with Darlene. She was able to pinpoint my issues, many of which arose from childhood and repeated themselves over and over. I now have a better understanding of my identity. I now have the tools to cope with life’s difficulties.”
Nicky, Los Angeles
“Darlene is an excellent therapist. She is empathic, highly skilled, and creates a safe space for the therapeutic process. In our first session, I sensed she understood me, how I was feeling, what my issues were. She asked the right questions, listened, earning my trust. The subsequent sessions revealed more to me about myself, truly helping me to grow and to flourish.”
Pam, Los Angeles
“We were able to uncover a lot of underlying issues and behaviors. She gave me the tools needed to regain my power and my voice, to not undermine my self-worth… to live with more clarity, power, and peace–resulting in greater happiness and better relationships.”
Paul G., Maryland
“Thanks to Darlene’s expertise, today I have a better understanding of what constitutes self-love and assertive thinking and speaking. She helped me breathe new, calm energy into my marriage. I was able to move out of the cyclical victim mode into a new way of thinking. Most helpful (were) Darlene’s incredible insights with even the least amount of detail. She was always on point with her assessments.”
Amy, New York City
“I used to feel like I was in tremendous pain. [What was most helpful was] having somebody be so receptive and free from judgment.”
Jason C., Las Vegas
“I was very confused and anxious and felt that the session put me on the right path. It was like someone naming or giving words to very vague notions I’ve had for years and finding a whole new different approach to my problems. When she speaks, one really gets a chance to target the very root of the problem and deepen our understanding. Plus, she has a beautiful soft voice. Her silences are also very eloquent!” C.B, Dublin, IE
“Therapy went beyond my objectives and expectations. I originally just wanted to get over a breakup and ‘be okay on my own.’ Through my transformative sessions with Darlene, I was able to find confidence and not live plagued by the opinions, feelings of guilt/responsibility for others feelings, the ‘should’s’ and everything else that prevented me from being kind to myself. The most helpful part of therapy is the non-judgmental environment in which I actually felt listened to, supported, and empathized with – things I did not have in my childhood. I am more understanding and accepting of myself and have built more self-trust.
This has translated to better self-assertion and not always feeling overwhelmed, trapped, or dependent on family members and others. I have gained trust in myself – my own experiences as a guide for my own valid thoughts, beliefs, actions. I also trust more in my own decision-making, not relying on others to steer me one way or the other. I cope better in that I know how to set better boundaries. Conflict is addressed and seen more objectively than before. I feel less injured by others. I feel like I am able to move forward and have been given the courage to live for myself, explore, and grow.”
D.O., Los Angeles
“Thank you, Darlene, for the insight and kind listening that allowed me to find my path, turning hopelessness into inner strength. I especially appreciated the specific, direct feedback of things that I could put into practice right away. I was seeking “happy,” but it turns out that I found something better – peace and a deep, lasting joy that resides in me, not something that comes from outside of myself.” M.N., Menlo Park, CA
“I was able to get a handle out of my nervous breakdown and crisis from betrayal and the realization and awakening of being in a 13-year long codependent relationship with a narcissist. I found that just touching the stomach and heart and focusing on the positive within me alleviated some mental symptoms by tear release. The awareness on negative self-talk and also cultivating self-love was useful.” S.H., Los Angeles
“I learned that I need to process my feelings/emotions/thoughts independent of the way others will react. To be honest and true to my “gut” and listen to my breathing and the tightness of my chest. I also learned that I am capable of living without the guilt of another person who is unable to manage their emotions/feelings in a healthy manner. I am not responsible for their behaviors/reactions or lack thereof. I found our sessions very empowering and yet sobering. I always felt stronger and wiser and able to reason better after them. I am able to process the pain of divorce and…live in my today rather than what I had wished and hoped for. Thanks for being a part of the solution for me! You will never know the full impact of your gifts! Thank you so very much for your help!”
A.B., New Mexico
“Darlene is a pro at bringing the truth out of a patient. She helps you peel back the many layers of your troubles. She’s calm and serene and that feeling supplies a comfortable atmosphere to be honest without judgment.”
D.G., Los Angeles
“Darlene uses unconventional methods that often access deeper parts of me that are lingering beneath the surface. I learned how to be apart from people without feeling guilty and built the courage to say no. I’m coping better by catching negative thoughts early on and stopping them.”
D.M., Los Angeles
“Thank you for helping me break through an emotional barrier that was affecting my whole life. When I first came to you I knew what I wanted to do but didn’t know how to go about it and certainly didn’t have the proper mindset for it. I knew from our first meeting that you would be straightforward with me and any delusions that I had could be overcome. My life was in an emotional “holding pattern” and now I have made steps towards real goals and accomplishments. I have my life back and the only way I know how to thank you is let you know that I’m one of the success stories that I’m sure you strive for. Thank You!”
Dave, Santa Monica
“I appreciate greatly the guidance of Darlene, and her ability to create a comfortable and welcoming environment. Her empathy, wisdom, and intuitive ability to understand and dissect through an issue help facilitate powerful growth. Going into therapy, I knew I needed help, guidance, and support. But many of the issues that were tackled were behind my awareness at the start. What I needed help with on the surface, soon turned to deeper wounds and false thought patterns that needed nurturing and diffusion.
Darlene, you gently and patiently guided me to a deeper more accurate understanding of myself. I don’t know where I’d be had I not made therapy a priority in my life. I am coping better because my emotions don’t rule my life anymore. I recognize them, I’m more aware of their origins and the ability to look at them separate from myself. In therapy, I learned see myself more clearly, to love and accept myself, establish my autonomy, and build confidence within myself to live a fuller more authentic life. I gained the tools needed to accurately understand my feelings and the sources behind them. These tools have given me tremendous peace within myself and allow me to not become so rattled by life’s events. The palm tree bends in the wind but does not break. I am forever grateful.”
K.R., Los Angeles
“I don’t think have ever met a therapist with deeper knowledge and understanding for shame. Darlene in person is super sharp and has a broad knowledge base and experience. I really enjoyed use of the Jungian perspective, as well.”
Charlotte, Tahoe, CA
“Thank you for everything. I am grateful I found you and worked a certain time with you on my feelings and reactions. You were a huge part of my healing process, and I appreciated your competence. I felt really understood and listened to. THANK YOU.”
Melissa, Santa Monica
“To learn how to listen, not only to others, but to the true self I had buried deep within, was an extremely beautiful gift to receive from my time with Darlene. Forgiving myself for who I am and allowing myself to be me without judgment has allowed me to be patient and respectful of other people and the paths they are on. While learning how to communicate my own needs, I have also learned how to communicate with my wife without judgments or passive-aggressive responses, but rather to listen wholeheartedly and respond in a productive way.”
Brian, Los Angeles
I gained a lot from the experience working with Darlene. What was most helpful was having someone to show me things that I wasn’t able to see … they were blindspots for me. I was gently pushed to take action in my daily life to achieve the things I wanted. It has helped me with my anxiety, frustration, and self-esteem.
Anonymous, New York City
“Darlene provided me with a clear understanding of what codependency is and its symptoms, which provided great clarity for me on “why all those things happened” over the past 25 years of my life – as well as provided me with incredible insight on what I’m responsible for in my personal relationships. She helped me breathe new, calm energy into my marriage. I was able to move out of the cyclical victim mode into a new way of thinking. Thanks to Darlene’s expertise, today I have a better understanding of what constitutes self -love and assertive thinking and speaking.”
Amy, New York City
“Darlene’s work on codependency and its deep connection to shame and low self-esteem opened my eyes to the trauma I experienced growing up. As an independent, capable woman in business, I lost sight of my childhood shame and the low self-esteem I experienced. Darlene helped me see it is very much alive inside of me even though I have developed very sophisticated coping mechanisms for sweeping such character defects under the carpet. I learned there is no shame in knowing I have a deep core shame belief and that many of my choices in relationships past and present reflect low self-esteem. I encourage any person successful or struggling to dig deeper. To unearth your truth because we are all human and there is no shame in knowing our strengths, as well as our weaknesses. It is an opening to a more peaceful and serene existence.”
K.S., Santa Monica
“Darlene has an innate ability to sense what is at the root of an issue and to express those underlying factors in an approachable and hopeful way. She is an excellent listener and a gentle motivator. Each of her reading recommendations turned out to be books that changed my life. My relationship with my wife and my understanding of myself is forever changed as a result of our sessions.”
J.N., Santa Monica
“I am now able to feel my emotions without judging myself and move forward in my life with a more healthy attitude and hope. Thank you for helping me through the rage and self-righteous anger and into acceptance of myself and my emotions. I no longer feel like the community slave trying to purchase love with my self-sacrificing co-dependent, disappointing ways. You are a quiet, empathetic sounding board for a clamoring mind.”
W.C., N. Hollywood
“My visits with Darlene Lancer were like a balm awaking the very core of my being. I learned much from her calm, kind, gentle, & knowledgeable presence in our sessions. Having endured years of emotional, spiritual, physical & sexual abuse, I grappled with a tremendous amount of dysfunctional issues, as well as those of an African American female. In our community, therapy is not always the obvious choice. I am grateful to have met Darlene; for she provided a peaceful, safe & reassuring atmosphere to unravel the many layers of hurt, shame & misunderstanding, thereby providing a place for me to really look within myself—and begin to grow. It is with much joy that I wholeheartedly recommend her services.”
T.B., Santa Monica
“Working with Darlene enlightened me with a depth of understanding and a process by which I could get into the intricacies of how codependency had ruled my life. Our work also provided me with the insights and tools needed to begin to unravel those dynamics to build the groundwork for self-love and an understanding and acceptance that all this began long before I had agency to change it. Loving oneself is what fill’s us completely and helps form the groundwork to build an amazing life! Thank you for playing such an integral role in my journey Darlene!”
“Marriage counseling with Darlene was life-changing. She gave us the tools to resolve conflict in a positive way. After 31 years of hating my husband and staying in the marriage due to convenience, I can gratefully say that I like my ‘new and improved’ husband now, respect him, admire him, and truly adore him.” J.O.
“Working with Darlene helped me re-frame the problems I’ve been struggling with for a very long time and see things from a different perspective. I feel more equipped to improve my mental health independently.” I.O., Vancouver, Ca.
“Darlene has helped me understand the reasons for my behavior and taught me valuable skills to cope with emotionally overwhelming situations and to accept myself, which has greatly improved my relationships with my family.”
Elena T., Los Angeles
“I came to Darlene feeling distraught, sad and alone, but not knowing why. I had never fully dealt with many upsetting occurrences in my past. Darlene is an excellent listener. She listens to understand your problems, and helps you with exercises that you can actually apply in your life. Being able to talk about these experiences and having someone like Darlene to listen, validate, and explain the effect of them allowed me to better understand my thoughts, feelings and methods of coping. I can now better recognize my feelings and constructively figure out why I feel the way I do.”
T.M., Los Angeles
“I believe I gained a higher level of self-confidence, self-acceptance, and self-awareness. In regard to my marriage I believe my relationship with my husband has improved greatly. I am better able to control my anger when I get upset with him and I get over fights much faster than I did in the past. I gained better communication skills and the ability to express my needs more clearly. I am definitely coping better. I learned to set boundaries with my husband when we disagree. Also, I am better able to monitor my thoughts as well as I have learned to stop (for the most part) the automatic thoughts that surface in moments of insecurity. Also, I’ve learned how to be more compassionate with myself.” (Name withheld)
“Darlene s clarity and insight really helped me get to the bottom of what was going on for me. I was able to see where my thought and behavior came from and how to work with my difficult emotions. The thoughts and emotions that felt like threats became far less threatening to me. She helped me with strategies to get out of destructive cycles and to concentrate on what my real goal is which is to live! I didn’t know I held so many superstitions and beliefs that i had created many years ago, that are were hurting me. I am in the process of challenging them and letting them go. I am very grateful.”
“Darlene Lancer is a gifted writer and therapist. She targeted my issues accurately, challenged my preconceptions and behavior, and helped my recovery with powerful exercises, suggestions and goals.” G.N., Utah
“Thank you Darlene. I prayed for someone to give me advice, and it was you. You don’t realize the help and impact you give. I feel like I’m drowning and you threw me a life raft. God bless you.”
Aida, Brownsville, Texas
“Darlene put me on a path to someplace better where I could recognize my own negative patterns. I gained another layer of awareness for my actions and my choices.”
J.T. Los Angeles
“I never could believe Darlene cared until I realized letting her care about me was the same problem I have with everyone. She models how I can love and be a good parent to myself and my children. As a result, the intimacy with my husband just grows and grows.”
“I feel terrific most of the time now…I have been on a long journey with Darlene, and we have now reached at least a way station, if not our destination…I am feeling content with my lot in life, and I have realistic expectations for the future…whatever it turns out to be, I will be fine.” R.B., Los Angeles
“In working with Darlene, my self-esteem and confidence have grown so that my entire life has changed. I have success in my work, fulfilling relationships, and have accomplished goals that were only daydreams.”
“I was addicted to alcohol for most of my life. Through Darlene’s patient support, I finally stopped. It saved my marriage and my life.”
“Thank you so much for your answer to my dream. It has been one for me to think about seriously and consider. A perspective that I hadn’t thought about. I’m so glad I finally asked!” Patricia
“A true expert. . . .better than Dr. Phil!” Rosemarie, Cliffside Park, NJ
“Thank you so much for your fast reply. You are 100% right and have helped me tremendously. I highly recommend you to everyone. Thank you again for doing such wonderful work in people’s lives.” Tracey
“Ms. Lancer was excellent!! I could tell that she really cared to get the full meaning of my dream. Her response was amazing, and showed me a side of myself that I have repressed. On top of all this, she was both timely and polite. I would like to thank Darlene Lancer for her expertise and helping me to see a new side of myself.” Sarah, Buffalo, N.Y.
“Thank you so much Darlene. You were prompt, polite, and I think 100% correct. I think you are right, and I will try to make these changes. You were a great help!!” Yolande Appelcryn, Boksburg, South Africa.
“I feel she hit the nail on the head, she got it straight on. I really appreciate the answer she gave me, and makes so much sense. Thanks again.” Donald, U.K.
“Darlene, Wow, that is an eye opener. I read your blog on emotional abuse and found that I am being abused. It’s going to take some work, but I will find my way out. Thank you for your help. It is very nice to get advice from someone who isn’t looking to tell me what I want to hear but rather the truth. It made me realize that your instinct feelings should not be ignored, even if all you do is ask a stranger,” Faith, Long Beach,CA
“Thank you so much. You just helped me get the direction that I so greatly needed.” Rachel, Fresno, CA
“She did a WONDERFUL job. She really dug to find out what might have caused these dreams, and I feel like she hit the nail on the head. I thought I might have some unresolved issues with my past, but I never thought that my dreams would show how unresolved they really are. Thank you!” Cynthia W., Orlando
“Thank you very much. I’m definitely bookmarking your site.” Monica
“Thank you! Sounds about right to me and also put a smile on my face.” Katie
“Darlene knows what she is talking about, and I agree with her expertise, very intuitive, and gave me a key I never thought was there. I am pretty sure my relationship to the inner feminine is at the heart of this dream as she rightly noticed. Many thanks.” Steve, U.K.
“Darlene really spoke to my heart and confirmed everything that I already knew in myself, but needed someone else to tell me.I appreciate the response and will follow through with her suggestions and advice. Thank you Darlene.” Kris
“Darlene, thank you so much for the great advice and reply.” Tarryn
“Very positive quick response. Excellent knowledgeable Dream Expert.” Dixie
“Thank you. Your response was great.” Annie
“You have given me wonderful insight into these dreams. Thanks so much!!” Christy
“You have just broken it down for me. It is so true. I just don’t like to love someone who loves, and in that pursuit end up taking [the] ‘challenging’ route, and as you said end up hurt by those ‘challenges.’ Thank you.” Lilly
“She is the perfect person to clear up all of your doubts and very fast to respond..” Jay
“Thank you so very much for your help. Really, really appreciate it. You’re wonderful.” Caroline
“Thank you so much Darlene. Your words were very reassuring for me.” Kathy
“A very prompt response that showed an understanding of my problem and provided practical ideas I can begin to use immediately. Thanks Darlene.” David, Melbourne, Au.
“Thank you so much for your level headed response. I know that the issue is emotionally charged for me, and I appreciate your help so much.!!! Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!!! I do feel better.” Trisha
“Ms. Lancer, thank you so much for the quick reply and for your kindness and concern. Your insights and suggestions are truly appreciated. There was also a lot of helpful information on your website. Thank you again for getting me pointed in the right direction. God Bless You!” Nina
“Thank you Darlene. I cry reading your response, because I know this is the truth. I feel it, I really do. I just love my children and want the best for them. Thank you for your response.” Alisia
“Thank you. . .very insightful and helpful. Definitely understood the question and made suggestions that will help me.” s
“Thank you for your great reply. Really helped me with my dream.Feel so better now and more at ease. It was much appreciated. Really was.Thank you again!!!” Kelly, UK
“Thank you so much. I found this answer extremely helpful and insightful. She was extremely sensitive and professional.” Clair, Johannesburg, So. Africa
“Quick follow up and some seemingly very insightful information. Thanks a lot Darlene!” Danny
” Darlene was extremely helpful. Thank you so much!” Kelly, U.S.
“Insightful. Gave me some food for thought.” Melanie
“Thanks Darlene for the very quick reply and follow-ups. What you’ve said made sense. You were great!” Irda, So. Africa
“Yes, Darlene, you are absolutely right. Darlene always responds fast and is usually right about the [dream] interpretation. Thanks a lot, Darlene. God bless you.” S.F.
“Darlene was quick to respond, and asked all the right questions in a way that wasn’t too invasive or painful. Handles the fear of a dream VERY well.” Erica
“This was the most helpful thing ever.” Alyssa
“Thanks Darlene! You were quite helpful and supportive. I’m really glad to have chosen you.” Jeannie, São Paulo, Brazil
“Thank you. You did very well with the dream interpretation and were very kind to me. I appreciate the information, because those dream books don’t do very well at all.” Maggie
“Thank Darlene, I think you are absolutely right. Your interpretation makes perfect sense.” Helen, Au.
“Thank you Darlene. I really appreciate it. Your feedback moved my heart, so there must be truth in it.” Lizelle, Johannesburg, So. Africa
“You are super.” Kelly, So. Wales, Au.
“Thank you so much for doing this for me! It makes so much sense. I’m very grateful.” James H., Brisbane, Au.
“Thank you Darlene, great answer and very quick response.”Aimee
“Thank you for your quick reply and wonderful advice. I will do that.” Sheila
“Wow to my subconscious. Thanks for shedding light on that.” Victoria
“Quick response, asked questions to give accurate answer. Very helpful.”Kristina
“This response was very helpful and enlightening.” Nathan
“Thanks. You led me to my answer.” Robyn
“Thank you so much for helping me understand my own riddle. Very knowledgeable and professional. I would recommend her. Love and light.” Bernadett
“Many thanks for your time and valuable advice.” RJ
“Thanks, very helpful.” Lindsey
“Thank you, Darlene. Your advice was very helpful!” Ryan
“Thank you so much! This explanation has really made me think about things, emotions, etc. Time to ponder.” Rhian
“Thanks Darlene. I think you are absolutely right, your interpretation makes perfect sense.” Helen